The following is the epitome of slovenly speech and something that frequently chafes my ears here in The South.
M'y I he'p yew?
Or the even sloppier: M'elp yew?
Translation: May I help you?
Just a thought: work on your speech.
If you are too lazy to pronounce the words, you are in no postion to help anyone.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Is Great Britain - like - in another country?
I have horrendous experiences with trying to mail things home to Britain. Sometimes it's a geography issue, sometimes it's nonversation that causes the problem. On one occasion however, a cocktail of both led me to the mother load of all things ridiculous! The fact that the incident happened in a store that 'specializes' in global shipping makes this tale even more stunning.
I have used this store to ship things to my parents address back in Britain several times and they have a record of the address in their computer system. They always begin by asking me if I have shipped to the address before and since the answer is always yes, they proceed to pull up the record by name, for speed and efficiency.
This one particular day, the girl who worked there could not find me in the system. She checked under my name. She checked under my parents' names. She checked under the street address. I tried to prompt things along by reinforcing the fact that the address was in Great Britain, just incase that would help in any way.
Well, she still couldn't find it, so she suggested we start over and re-enter everything into the system. I didn't have a problem with that, if it got me out of there as soon as possible.
We go through the address painstakingly and finally we get to the 'Great Britain' part.
'Great Britain?' she asks.
'Yes,' I affirm.
I'm starting to feel dumbfounded at that point because I have already spoken in a very obvious British accent; stated that I was mailing the item 'home to Britain' and then double checked she got the 'Great Britain' part during our search through the system. The clues were everywhere.
'Is Great Britain - like - in another country?' she asks.
All manner of answers gushed to my lips but I managed to simply point out that 'Great Britain is another country'.
Finally, the lightbulb went off and our search for Great Britain in the database for addresses in the contiguous United States could cease.
I have used this store to ship things to my parents address back in Britain several times and they have a record of the address in their computer system. They always begin by asking me if I have shipped to the address before and since the answer is always yes, they proceed to pull up the record by name, for speed and efficiency.
This one particular day, the girl who worked there could not find me in the system. She checked under my name. She checked under my parents' names. She checked under the street address. I tried to prompt things along by reinforcing the fact that the address was in Great Britain, just incase that would help in any way.
Well, she still couldn't find it, so she suggested we start over and re-enter everything into the system. I didn't have a problem with that, if it got me out of there as soon as possible.
We go through the address painstakingly and finally we get to the 'Great Britain' part.
'Great Britain?' she asks.
'Yes,' I affirm.
I'm starting to feel dumbfounded at that point because I have already spoken in a very obvious British accent; stated that I was mailing the item 'home to Britain' and then double checked she got the 'Great Britain' part during our search through the system. The clues were everywhere.
'Is Great Britain - like - in another country?' she asks.
All manner of answers gushed to my lips but I managed to simply point out that 'Great Britain is another country'.
Finally, the lightbulb went off and our search for Great Britain in the database for addresses in the contiguous United States could cease.
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